Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark

Ah yes, Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark!

When I was a kid, there was nothing scarier than these books. Forget that lame GOOSEBUMPS series or anything R.L.Stein could hack up, this was the REAL DEAL. The stories were classic campfire tales with absolutely GRUESOME images to accompany the stories. I think this is why I still lock all the doors, windows, and sleep facing away from the wall. Do kids today get anything this cool? I can just see the nanny-state banning them after one precious snowflake has a fit in the middle of the night.

Perhaps kids would read more if we didn’t force feed them so much watered down tripe?

Trust me, kids are tougher than you think. I for one can’t wait to have my own children so I can traumatize them with these awesome stories.

Here’s some of the more classic images I managed to find online… READ ON IF YOU DARE !

click MORE if you are feeling brave.

 

El Perro De Mar - glory to the world.mp3

El Perro del Mar and Lykke Li will be touring together in the U.S in May. 

El Perro del Mar’s second full-length album titled ‘From the Valley to the Stars’ was released in Scandinavia in February. The album will be released in the U.S. on 22nd of April and in the U.K and Europe on the 19th of May. Australia and New Zealand will follow shortly thereafter. 

SHOWS
2 May - Pop Revo - Aarhus, DK 
6 May - Johnny Brenda’s - Philadelphia, PA * 
7 May - Joe’s Pub - New York, NY *
8 May - Bowery Ballroom - New York, NY * 
9 May - Middle East - Boston, MA * 
10 May - Lambi - Montreal, Quebec * 
11 May - Mod Club - Toronto, Ontario * 
12 May - Schubas - Chicago, IL * 
14 May - Red Room - Vancouver, British Columbia * 
15 May - Triple Door, Seattle, WA * 
16 May - Dough Fir - Portland, OR * 
18 May - Bimbo’s - San Fransisco, CA * 
19 May - El Rey Theatre - Los Angeles, CA *
31 May - Siesta - Hässleholm, SE 
25 June - Accelerator - Stockholm, SE 
4 July - Arvikafestivalen - Arvika, SE
13 July - Pildammsparken - Malmö, SE 

 

elperrodelmar home. 

El Perro De Mar - Glory To The World.mp3

 

Mystery Jets - Two Doors Down

Awesome new video from the Mystery Jets. Check out those sexy white suits and Robert Smith haircuts.  

So 80’s chic and I can’t look away.  

MYSTERY JETS

Oh, and while I’m at it here’s THE SWITCH remix of the Mystery Jet’s single ‘Hideaway’

Very slick. thanksholyman. 

MYSTERY JETS - HIDEAWAY (REMIX BY THE SWITCH).mp3

 

LET BARACK OBAMA EAT HIS DAMN WAFFLES.

I know what its like to not want to be disturbed when you are eating a delicious waffle.  First off, they only stay hot and crispy for so long before the syrup rips into them and start to make them all mushy.  Barack Obama is a smart enough man to know of this and not waste any time when there is good waffles to be eaten.  Don’t ask him your bullshit question about Hamas that you know he just answered on Monday.  Don’t interrupt a man’s morning Wednesday waffle to ask him a question you already heard him answer.  Let just all take a minute and be thankful that he wasn’t eating delicious sausage or sunny side up eggs.  Then we might have seen things take a turn for the ugly. 

(FROM breitbart)

Democratic White House contender Barack Obama could not hide his irritation Monday when asked by a reporter what he thought about former president Jimmy Carter’s meeting with Hamas last week.

“Why can’t I just eat my waffle?” the Illinois senator said as he ate breakfast in Scranton, Pennsylvania, according to MSNBC television pictures.

Pressed again for an answer, he replied: “Just let me eat my waffle.”

 

It takes big balls to steal someone’s penis using witchcraft.

KORO, is the belief in fatally retracting genitals, or a belief in genital theft, is usually known by the name ‘Koro’. The word is of uncertain origin but is thought to derive from the Malaysian word for tortoise, (sometimes locally used as a slang term for the penis), perhaps with a nod to the tortoises’ ability to retract its head into its body. It takes several forms, including a fast spreading social belief that tends to cause panics and widespread concern, and a more isolated form, usually the problem of a lone individual.

(FROM REUTERS)

Penis Theft Panic Hits City, Police Baffled.

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo’s sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

 

Doeo!

I couldn’t handle getting my butt kicked in SCRAMBLE all day and night so here is DOEO… You uh, basically gotta grab all the DOEO…s.  Doeses? Does’s. Ah you get it. Anyway, it involves no spelling and I can beat it so I recommend this game. Just click play. Thanks newgrounds. 

from www.newgrounds.com posted with vodpod

 

the many unknown faces of gumby

Gumby’s one of those cartoons that even as a little kid you knew it sucked.  I mean sure you’d swallow some teenagers who were ninjas and also turtles or perhaps some scientists who were also lovers who battled ectoplasmic entities, but when Gumby came on you knew it was time to go outside. 

Anyway the one thing I hated the most about Gumby was how he was always in your face preaching about reading and magic or something.  Fuck you GUMBY, quit making me believe in dreams by jumping into books.  If I wanted to imagine something, I wouldn’t be watching tv all day long to forget about the fact my parents are divorced and some guy named Frank keeps asking me to call him ‘Dad’.  

Thankfully, Nintendo was invented soon after this. 

Looking back however, I see Gumby was really meant for stoners.  Perhaps If someone had explained this to me at 8 years old, I would have appreciated that green goblin a little more.  At 24, I feel that I can truly appreciate Gumby for what he is… the bad idea of a very wasted art school dropout. 

CLICK MORE FOR … well more. 

 

Hillary Clinton Secures Elusive ‘Pro-Wrestling’ Vote For PA Primary Win.

- Reporting on the scene in Pennsylvania,

It was a real ‘Battle Royal’ in PA today between HILLROD, The Obama, and the McCain(anaic) with CLINTON piledriving for a big win.  Fans of Milwaukee’s Best and Trucker Hats rejoice.  If elected, Clinton has promised to take on any Republican challenger that rises to the occasion, be it Senator McCain or the Undertaker.  

Speaking from her campaign victory headquarters Hillary Clinton held the championship belt proudly over head and growled fiercely at the camera crew.  ”I’ll bury Obama just like I buried that wimp Edwards,” she sneered while her manager/husband Bill Clinton cackled and rubbed his hands evilly. “Long have I tasted the blood of weaker opponents in my quest to rule the White House Federation.” 

Obama spoke shortly with the press this evening, blaming his loss on both ‘the intense clapping abilities’ of Hilrod’s fans and a last minute sneak attack with a metal chair by Bill while the ref was looking the other day.  A truly proud day in American politics. 

 

Kelloggs Brand Urban Streetwear

FINALLY, my love of hip hop and frosted flakes can be combined. This will save me so much time. I guess it makes sense considering how often I see Mickey and Elmo pasted onto shirts of people just a little too old to be wearing them. Marvel comic put out that line of fat guy Hawaiian shirts and Ecko gear a few years back. But are people really ready to start representing, Tony the Tiger? I mean if you want to rep imaginary mascots for food companies, why not Ronald McDonald then. Or you just get a big t-shirt that says, “I’m fat.”

Better follow your nose, muthafucka! I said follow yo’ gotdam nose. Me and Toucan Sam are fucking crazy you don’t even know.

UNDER THE HOOD

 

I suck at SCRAMBLE.

Seriously, I suck at Scramble.

Everyone I know is whooping my ass in it today. What the hell. Anyone have any tips??  …Apparently you can download some scripts to cheat… maybe that’s how everyone is beating me :-X BOOOO.

 

 

SAMUEL - shorty is the shit

Ahhhh so good. Kid is keeping busy these days. Check-check it.

“So I say hello, tell your boyfriend goodbye.”

samuel - shorty-is-the-shit.mp3

 

BATTLE ROYALE (the cute anime version)

(from DIGG)

Interesting vision SOOMPI is pushing here…

The original BATTLE ROYALE was really scary and dark… But this?  I mean this is ADORABLE.

Battle Royale takes place in an alternate timeline[citation needed] - Japan is a police state, known as the Republic of Greater East Asia (大東亜共和国 Dai Tōa Kyōwakoku). Every year fifty 3rd year junior high (grade 9) classes are chosen to forcibly fight against one another until one student per class remains alive. The “Program”, as it is known, was supposedly created to aid military research and population control, but it is more likely that it is simply a betting opportunity for high ranking Japanese army officers, or as Sakamochi puts it, to rid the country of trust for one another. The outcome of each battle is later revealed on local television. One character discovers that the program is not an experiment at all, but a means of terrorizing the population. In theory, after seeing such atrocities, the people will become paranoid and divided, preventing an organized rebellion

Here’s part 1 of the original… watch if you dare!!

 

noodles on my back.

The internet really never lets you down.

Say what you will about this song, it will be in your head for the rest of the day.  Do you still have it in your ipod, Ryan?

 

What’s your favorite curse word? NFSW (duh)

TV in ENGLAND must be way more awesome than in America if TV stations can make promo ads like this.

Is there an R rated version of SCRUBS in England where Zack Braff just drops F-Bombs the whole time?

(NSFW! - Please don’t play this at work, ok? Unless you work for Channel 4 TV then i guess you can pretty much do whatever the f*ck you want)

 

Things I am happy about this week…

Last week of classes AND my favorite show LOST is back on the air! I keep telling my friends who have never watched LOST to give it a shot but a lot of them complain there is just so much backstory already built up that they can’t figure out what’s going on. Well… neither can the characters. Just watch this video and you’ll know as much as everyone else.

 

Hank Ketcham’s Fantastic Four by ~DocShaner

What, no Mr. Wilson as Dr. Doom?? Also, check out his Peanuts as Watchmen!

Doc Shatner (from Deviant Art)

 

Are drummers natural intellectuals?

(From Truemors)

“New research suggests that as well as possessing extraordinary musical talent, drummers may also be natural intellectuals. By asking volunteers to keep time with a drumstick prior to taking an intelligence test, scientists found those with the best rhythm scored the highest in mental assessments, as there is a strong link between intelligence, good timing and problem-solving. So despite the wealth of musicians’ drummer jokesout there, it seems drummers are definitely playing all the right notes when it comes to brain power.”

**not sure if i believe this one

 

Lykke Li - I’m Good, I’m Gone

Girl made some noise last winter with her single ‘Little Bit‘ and the world was totally about it. So she said, ‘well have another’ and it was good. (thanks gvb)

 

 

Ziggy Stardust, Why Do You Hate Freedom?

THIS JUST IN! TOP GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS ARE REPORTING THAT TERRORISTS ARE TRANSMITTING SECRET MESSAGES THROUGH LATE 70′S POP ICON IMAGERY. MR. BOWIE IS STILL AT LARGE UNDER ONE OF HIS MANY ALIASES.  ADAM ANT HOWEVER, HAS BEEN TAKEN INTO CUSTODY. UPDATES TO FOLLOW*

DEFACED PRESIDENTS - (flickr)

 

Charlie the Unicorn: Part 2

“We have to take the amulet to the banana king!”